


That seriously couldn't have been your best excuse

by DumbestofAsses



Category: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Crack, Crack Relationships, Crack Treated Seriously, Fake Character Death, Fake Pregnancy, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Insane Wilbur, This Is STUPID, Toby Smith | Tubbo & TommyInnit Friendship, Toby Smith | Tubbo-centric, i am the CRACK LORD, im so sorry, this entire fic is a tubbo moment, tubbo moment, when the childtren are left home alone, where is phil please ur children need you, yes this is intense for a crack fic move on
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-21
Updated: 2020-10-20
Packaged: 2021-03-08 23:48:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 949
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27124762
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DumbestofAsses/pseuds/DumbestofAsses
Summary: "What the HELL is he doing here Tubbo?" Jschaltt asked, staring at the teens."... I'm pregnant?""Yeah and?""uhhhhhhh Tommy's the dad""What" "What" "What" "WHAT"ORTubbo has to think of an excuse... he thinks of a different one.
Relationships: Alexis | Quackity & Toby Smith | Tubbo, Alexis | Quackity & TommyInnit, Dave | Technoblade & Toby Smith | Tubbo & Wilbur Soot & TommyInnit, Jschlatt & Toby Smith | Tubbo, Niki | Nihachu & Toby Smith | Tubbo, No Romantic Relationship(s), Toby Smith | Tubbo & Everyone, Toby Smith | Tubbo & TommyInnit
Comments: 68
Kudos: 714





	That seriously couldn't have been your best excuse

**Author's Note:**

> i... i don't know?
> 
> It came to me.  
> Like a fever dream.
> 
> So I had to write it

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tubbo does a Tubbo

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> honestly are you even friends if you haven't pretended to be pregnant together?
> 
> have fun idiots

"We could run away Tommy," Tubbo said softly on the bench he and his best friend were sitting on, the one they had sat on many times before.

Tommy looked down at his hands, his face scrunched up. Tommy was thinking about it. Tubbo could tell.

Tommy shook his head and got up from the bench, pacing. "What about L'manberg- we- we can't just abandon L’manberg,” pain shining through his eyes.

Tubbo got up and grabbed Tommy’s arm, “We can still save L’manberg.” Tommy looked like he was about to cry and he nodded.

“Tubb-” Tommy started

"What the HELL is he doing here Tubbo?" Jschaltt asked, staring at the teens incredulously.

Tubbo and Tommy jumped upon hearing the voice. They turned around to see Schlatt, Quackity and Fundy standing across from them on the Pog path.

Tubbo looked at Tommy neither of them had an excuse on hand. So in a moment of absolute panic, Tubbo said, "...well you know how I'm pregnant, right?"

Schlatt squinted his eyes, "Yeah...?"

Tubbo felt his heart race trying to think of something to say, “Tommy's the dad!" Tubbo blurted

"What" 

"What" 

"What" 

_ "WHAT" _

Quackity turned to Tommy “WHY ARE YOU SURPRISED.” Tommy shrugged, redfaced.

Just then Tubbo thought of the best way to play off the whole meeting with the enemy thing, “I was about to tell him…”

Schlatt, who still hadn’t spoken, was blinking repeatedly and stuttered a bit before he figures out what to say, “I thought you were gonna say he was your gynecologist or something i- wow- i-  _ how _ ”

Tommy looks at Tubbo in absolute mortification and disappointment because of his excuse. Tubbo could tell from the look on Tommy’s face that Tommy was absolutely disappointed with the fact that Schlatt came up with a better excuse than himself. 

“Are we just going to ignore the fact that it’s  _ Tommy’s _ ,” Fundy said running a hand through the fur on his head, staring at the teens in absolute mortification, “And that Tubbo is  _ with _ an enemy to the state?”

“Umm...” Tubbo drawled off, racking his brain for an explanation.

Thankfully Tommy answers before Tubbo has to, “It’s… from… before- yeah before the election,” Tommy answers, clearing his throat, face as red as a tomato.

“Before the election??? That- that happened months ago,” Quackity exclaimed looking between Tubbo and Tommy.

Tubbo and Tommy nod, blushing in embarrassment, both refusing to meet anyone’s eyes.

Schlatt pressed his lips into a line before sighing shaking his head, “And  _ why _ didn’t you tell me when  _ you told me you were pregnant?” _

Thinking on the fly Tubbo says, “Well did you just see Fundy’s reaction?” 

Schlatt stares at Tubbo for a moment before saying, “Eh, that's fair.” 

“Are you two together???” Fundy asks staring at them in disbelief.

“No!” Tubbo said quickly

“Then how-” Fundy asked before being interrupted by Tommy.

“We’re on opposite sides idiot, we can’t nor do we want to be together,” Tommy said, Fundy nodded.

Tommy stares at Quackity who has been wordlessly laughing, covering his mouth with his hand to stop himself from bursting out laughing this entire time. “SHUT UP QUACKITY,” Tommy yells at Quackity’s quaking form.

Schlatt sighs again and sinks his forehead into his head. 

“Wait if… it,” Fundy gestures to Tubbo’s form, “happened before the election… doesn’t that mean you’re months in?”

“Ye,” Tubbo says nodding, hands clasped together looking like that one meme of a white guy standing on a sidewalk.

Fundy looks at Tubbo in disbelief and slowly enunciating his words, “And you told us… a couple of weeks ago?” Tubbo nodded again.

Schlatt just sighed even louder and started rubbing his forehead, “Give me a second.” 

Tubbo nodded.

“More importantly-” Tommy starts despite Schlatt telling them all to be quiet not even a moment prior, “Can I have another Visa?”

Schlatt, Quackity and Fundy looked at Tommy in disbelief. Tubbo snorted.

“No,” Schlatt said

“But- I needs- Tommy needs to help me with this,” Tubbo said looking at Schlatt.

Quackity turned to his president, “Give him the visa Schlatt.”

“YOU CAN’T TELL ME WHAT TO DO,” Schlatt shrieked at Quackity.

“But I’m pregnant Schlatt,” Tubbo stares at the man in question.

Schlatt is silent for a couple of moments before grumbling something unintelligible and takes out a book. Schlatt scribbles something on it then hands it to Tommy. 

Tommy opens the book and Tubbo stares at it over Tommy’s shoulder.

_ Tommyinnit will be able to freely visit Manberg, only if either JSchlatt, Quackity, Georgenotfound are aware and approve of it first and can only stay for as long as needed.  _

Tommy grinned, “That’ll work, sir!” 

Schlatt gritted his teeth, “SHUT UP CHILD” Tommy laughed. “Just get out of here, before I make you.”

“YES SIR, YES SIR!” Tommy says in a similar fashion to the way Quackity often does and runs off towards Pogtopia.

Schlatt sighs again.

“Can I get back to work?” Tubbo asks 

Schlatt just sighs and says, “Sure.”

**_Later in Pogtopia_ **

“So…” Tommy starts, 

“A thing happened,” Tubbo interrupts

“Nothing- nothing important,” Tommy states.

“The- the fuck did you two do?” Wilbur asks looking at the boys who were redfaced and staring at the ground like it was who they were talking to.

“Nooothingggg,” Tommy mumbled

Wilbur feels anger rising in him at the suspicious behaviour, “DID YOU BETRAY ME TOMMY BECAUSE IF YOU DID YOU  _ WILL  _ REGRET IT-”

“What- no- Schlatt just thinks me and Tubbo are having a baby,” Tommy says looking at Wilbur in confusion.

“Oh okay go- WAIT  **_WHAT_ ** ,” Wilbur choked on his own words in shock as the cursed words Tommy said registered in his ear.

  
Techno lifted his head backwards and  _ cackled _ .

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> idk why i wrote this im so sorry to anyone who had brain cells before reading this as this fic steals brain cells and gives them to me in an attempt to make it so that I have enough brain cells to not make this.
> 
> this felt super awkward to make-
> 
> *holds out hands* Comment and kudos pweaseee.

**Author's Note:**

> Please tell me if you like the crack- 
> 
> updates sometimes bc I'm more focused on my other fic


End file.
